I learned this week that a friend of mine, whom I hadn’t seen in years, had died. She was my age and a total superstar – fun and funny, the best kind of person! My memories of the time we spent together fills me with joy. I remember dancing around her living room to “Benny and The Jets”, after telling her I wasn’t a huge Elton John fan. This was unacceptable to her and then proceeded a series of Elton's hits, which I liked but didn’t love. “This one, Nook! You have to love this one!” and I did. I had forgotten, or maybe not known that this was an Elton song, but lets just say since that time B B B Benny and the jets has been on high rotation and I have been an Elton fan since. It’s a great tune, fun to sing along to, but more than anything it reminds me of a place and time and now, it reminds me of a very special person that I had the privilege of knowing.
We had fallen out of touch. Life is like that. I followed her adventures as she globe-trotted across the world, travelling to amazing places, eating crazy delicacies and being her cheeky, fun, smart and vivacious self. The odd Facebook post reply in response to whatever she was up to. I suppose I thought we would always catch up again, at some stage, when we were in the same place at the same time, when the universe deemed it timely. Sadly, that wasn’t meant to be.
I learned about her death through Facebook. The algorithm showed me a post from one of our mutual friends, with a message that I found hard to comprehend, but knew what it meant. I frantically search through the socials in a hope that I had misinterpreted the post, and then I found another and another. The posts were three weeks old; I thought there might be a possibility that the funeral had not yet been, but of course this was not the case. In Australia, typically a funeral is held 3-5 days after someone has died.
I found her obituary and it seemed she had perhaps been unwell. I was unaware of this, in my mind she was living somewhere in Asia, dining and dancing, just doing her thing. The notice read “passed away peacefully” and that “a private cremation will be held as per her wishes”. To me, this read like she had made some plans in place, and this does not surprise me. In recent years she had cared for her father and managed the whole end of life process with him, by all accounts with an exceptional amount of love and grace. She would have learned the ropes along the way and put these lessons into practice. She was a warm, beautiful, intelligent, considerate, with a sharp wit and effervescence that is hard to find. And she was organized, always ensuring that things would go to plan.
I’m thinking about the influence she had on me in the short time our lives intersected, and I feel the void, knowing that I won’t see her again. I cannot imagine the huge vacancy that she will have left in the life of her close family and friends. I am sad for them, for their loss and for it to have been so soon.
Vale my friend, I’ll keep dancing to Elton with you firmly imprinted in my memories and in my heart.
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